Let's take a look at the players.
Patrick Kilcullen - editor in chief
Patrick is a lot of things but he's never late for dinner. He went to school more than you. Contact him if you'd like to buy a dog.
William W. Eckley - Poetry Editor
He placed seventh in the eighth grade spelling bee and he likes fish sandwiches more than you, which is somewhere in-between the great arch of Saint Louis and the green line.
No one ever notices his haircut.
Vincent Carismo tathruso - Culture & criticism editor
Failed bon vivant. Worst-selling author of the universally rejected book, Crunching Numbers: The Secret History of Frosted Alpha-Bits. Gotta wonder if he's sad, or just American Buddhist. Family man.